if anyone puts that goddamn meme on this post i’m reporting them. you know the one.
Via What Is A Sleep Schedule?
- Girls are so fucking sexy.
- You can’t get pregnant even if you forget to take your pill.
- If you want penetrative sex, you can still get it, but with a really awesome purple penis.
- Boobs go ‘badoing’ and can amuse me for hours.
- When they bite their lip…
- You can both ‘wear the trouser’s’ and not make a guy feel emasculated.
- A girl’s skin is always so soft.
- Again, boobs.
- And also, vaginas.
- And just generally, girls are yummy.
two vampire friends lying on the floor getting drunk and describing eachother because they can’t use mirrors don’t even try to tell me that isn’t adorable
The sound I just made was not human
[[No comics this week, but here are pictures of what a real-life ocelot looks like. Yaaay!]]
Because everyone needs a badass empress on their blog.~
somewhat of a revamp from an old post
Via A Dos Mucacho
friendly reminder: owning up to, learning from, and apologizing for your mistakes can go a long way
Via A Dos Mucacho
This is literally the cutest thing ever and this is a topic very close to my heart, as I adopted my kitten from the Humane Society. :-)
Via World of Color
This is the one time of year that I love wasps.
Not because the wasps themselves get any nicer. They’re horrid little creatures year round. No, it’s because I have a couple of big apple trees out back, and late August, early September is when the apples start ripening.
Now, if you don’t harvest your own fruit, there are two things you need to know about apples.
The first thing you need to know about apples is that, when apples get ripe, they tend to fall from the tree at the slightest breeze.
I often work late at the office; by the time I get home, there are piles of apples scattered everywhere - and sure enough, the wasps are out in force, gorging themselves on the fruit. When I go to clean up the windfallen apples, the wasps naturally do the “rawr, I’ma fuck you up!” routine for which wasps are known.
The second thing you need to know about apples is that they ferment very rapidly in the late August heat.
So: the wasps try to come at me, but they’re too drunk to fly. They get about an inch off the ground, then faceplant directly into the turf, flip over onto their backs, and lay there, legs twitching in the air as they try in vain to find something to sting.
Perhaps I’m a man of simple pleasures, but I bust up laughing every. single. time.
I tried to reblog this with a witty tag, but Tumblr took it as serious advice: